Snakes in a plain... old... office building!
Act 1: The Googler who cried snake
Sunday April 1st, NYooglers (a word for New York Googlers I can't convince anyone else to use) receive an email about a python. I assume it's either Guido van Rossum talking about his programming language, or, because it's April Fool's, something like Gmail Paper or PigeonRank. Boy, am I surprised when I see the following message:
"Over the weekend, a pet snake belonging to a Googler escaped from its cage. The snake is a 3-foot long, brown-and-grey, ball python named Kaiser. Ball pythons are non-venomous and are commonly kept as pets. Tempting as it might be, this is not an April Fool's joke! We are sending this message to alert you to the situation and to let you know what to do in the event that you see the snake."
Act 2: A community unites
Monday morning in the office, we react. Some laugh, some debate whether it is actually a joke, and some stand away from walls and corners. At least one considers buying rubber snakes en masse. The bathrooms have slightly fewer occupants than usual.
Signs are posted in our microkitchens informing us of the situation and reiterating that Kaiser is not venomous and probably hiding behind some cabinet. My favorite sign reads "Single Ball Python (female): Down to earth gal seeking a sincere long term relationship. I have a heart of gold and enjoy quiet evenings in the aquarium, time by the heat lamp, and being held. If you are interested in a woman who desires a quiet settled-down lifestyle and a good future, I am your perfect fit."
Act 3: Google widens lead in search as Kaiser is found
Monday, April 2nd, 10:45 PM, we receive another Facilities Manager email: "After consultations with a herpetology expert at the American Museum of Natural History, our team of Google security and concerned volunteers located Kaiser relaxing behind a cabinet earlier this evening, and he was returned safely home with his owner." So, it all ended happily, and Kaiser is now at his owner's home to stay.
Epilogue
By Tuesday, life at the East Coast 'Plex returns to normal. We go back to building great products, hosting cool events, and using telescopes to take pictures of ourselves.
Thank you!
All of Google NY would like to sincerely thank our building landlord, Taconic Investment Partners, for working in partnership with us on this sensitive search and recovery mission.